Building Friendships at the Cottage: A New Perspective

August 1, 2025

We know our neighbors better on the island where our cottage is, than those where we live. I found that curious and made me think why.

Many people go to their summer homes to relax, to leave the city behind, and to be alone to regenerate their physical and mental health. I thought that cottagers prefer to be left alone. But I found the opposite to be the truth.

Before I go any further, I should explain how we arrived purchasing a cottage that may have relevance to my argument. We camped and tented for our vacations in the beginning until our one-year-old child woke up in an inch of water from a downpour one night. This prompted us to purchase a tent trailer, ensuring we would be above ground in case of a storm.

The tent trailer took us to Florida, the west coast (Vancouver), the east coast (Charlottetown) and many camp grounds in Ontario and New York State. The whole family enjoyed traveling and sightseeing with a tent trailer.

However, as the children grew up, summer camps, sports activities, and jobs made it inconvenient to travel with them, and we sold the tent trailer.

At the time I sold the tent trailer, a friend invited us to visit their cottage, and we canoed to their place on an islad. We had so much fun on the lake that day that we stayed overnight, and I decided I must have a cottage on this island. When I found a cottage for sale, I made a stink bid in the fall, a poor time to sell it. Since the couple owning the property was going through a divorce and the wife wanted her share of the money at once, they agreed to sell it. That property had good “bones”, or structure, but was unfinished and needed a lot of work.

The first task with our newly acquired property was to finish the ceiling with the tiles already stacked in the cottage. When mice dropped from the ceiling onto Kathy while she was sleeping in the bedroom, finishing the ceiling became the number one task. Other projects followed, like building steps going up the hill to the cottage, where there was a dirt path that was slippery when wet.

We also joined the local cottagers’ association, a common group in such communities. The primary function of these groups is to have an annual meeting with a BBQ event, providing the opportunity to meet others. At these AGMs, there are also talks about subjects of interest to all, like water filter systems, and how to avoid mosquitoes and ticks. Once the ice is broken, friendships form. A few years ago, there was an even bridge club on the island.

This weekend’s visit with a few neighbors shaped my views on our cottage community. The next-door neighbor from New Jersey invited us for dinner, and the discussion flowed easily despite our diverse backgrounds and lifestyles. We learned more about the neighbors’ families than we ever knew about our neighbors in town.  

Our neighbors from Michigan invited us to their spacious deck that same weekend. During a discussion about where they met, we learned that the man’s Vietnam experience ended with an injury, resulting from a grenade blowing up next to him, with long-term consequences. This neighbor has done a lot of work on his cottage and has accumulated a wide range of construction equipment. I found one of his tools helpful, a heavy-duty jack that I borrowed to lift up my sinking dock.

We paid a visit to another old friend from Pennsylvania. His grandson was there keeping them company. During our visit, another neighbor dropped in and brought a bag of fresh samosas from Toronto. We all had one and admired the new ceiling completed in their large entertainment room.

Never to miss our Canadian friends from Ottawa, we walked over to their immense deck the next day, where they always relax with a book and a glass of wine in the afternoon.

Although socializing is fun, the weekend was also work; Kathy power washed the outside decks, which are substantial, about one thousand square feet, with a wraparound deck extending into steps leading to the waterfront. I used a weed-eater to clear the front and back yards. I shaved the grass to the ground to make sure no ticks would enjoy my yard, ticks thrive in tall grass, and I had some bad experiences with them just a few weeks ago.

Despite seeing these people only during the summer months, I found that we know more about them than we know about our city neighbors. It could be because in town, most people work. In cottage land, people take their time to hang out, relax, and enjoy seeing others doing the same. Vacationing is a good time to make friends, and cottaging offers such an opportunity.

Housing and Homelessness

February 4, 2024

My local city Councilor jolted me with the following statement in his late January 2024 newsletter: “The issue that I want to focus on for this newsletter is Housing & Homelessness. If ever there was a time in recent memory when this issue was front and centre in the minds of pretty much everyone, this is it. Whether you’re homeless yourself, whether you can’t afford to buy a home, refinance your home, or rent an apartment, or whether you’re worried about challenges that will be faced by the next generation, our current crisis is affecting a majority of Ottawa residents”. Sixty-four percent of Ottawa households own a home! So, how could these issues affect the majority of residents? This statement did not resonate with me on several levels!

On one level, it is not front and center in my mind or my friends’ or neighbors’ minds. It is in the newspapers, on TV channels, and on the radio, but people I know do not discuss and are not interested in those subjects. It is infrequent if they talk about it, and when they do, they mention parts of downtown where people experiencing homelessness congregate. But people I know avoid downtown for lack of parking or the cost, especially since we find all our needs met in the suburbs. In our neighborhood, I have yet to see homeless people. I go out daily, know my neighborhood well, and have not seen homeless people to date. I believe it is a non-issue in my community.

When I talk with my friends, subjects of our discussions relate to the amazingly mild climate this year, the current popularity of hybrid cars, how they function, and whether we should get one, a hip replacement facing a neighbor, a trip by a friend visiting the Abu Simbel Temple in Egypt, and when Trudeau may resign. When nine men met to form a book club, we discussed the need for a men’s book club, the schools we attended, and how we should run our new-fangled book club; for example, should we have lunch before discussing books? Homelessness was never mentioned.

On another level, if my local city Councilor were serious about doing something about homelessness, he should have had some statistics on how many homeless are in our community. All I hear today is “evidence-based” policymaking. So, how about some numbers to substantiate the homelessness issue in general terms and as it exists in our community?

The other subject the Councilor mentions is housing and its affordability. These are current political challenges to satisfying the massive demand for housing created by the influx of newcomers to Canada. The various levels of government blame each other for the housing shortage. One reads that local governments take too long to approve applications for development proposals and charge hefty development fees. Both are disincentives for speedy housing construction. Recent federal government policy let too many students, refugees, and immigrants into Canada, which combined to create a high demand for housing that the construction industry has been unable to cope with. Beyond general curiosity, my friends and I ignore this subject; we all have a house, mortgage-free.

Unless the Councilor can identify homelessness as an issue in our community, I would suggest he focus on our local problems, such as poor road conditions, through traffic, and traffic congestion on surrounding major roads. Many streets are in an abysmal state with potholes. People traversing our community to avoid traffic tie-ups at major intersections endanger our walkers on the streets. The construction of sidewalks and additional streetlights would enhance safety. I believe road maintenance, safety, and traffic control are the real issues in our community. The Councilor could survey residents on what they perceive to be the problems in setting his priorities.