Tag: politics

Avoiding Arguments with Family: Strategies for Difficult Conversations


August 29, 2025

I was quietly reading my book when I heard an escalating argument with both sides raising their voices. Curious about what was happening, I stepped in and discovered it was a family dispute centered around MAGA-related issues. My wife questioned why we have soldiers stationed in Washington, DC, while her brother claimed that crime in DC is a significant problem and that Trump would be the one to fix it. My wife cited reputable sources showing that the crime rate in DC is at its lowest point in thirty years, but her brother dismissed these facts as incorrect. We have all lived in DC, and while crime has been an issue in some parts of the city in the past, the overall rates have improved.

So, where do we go from here? Arguments like this are becoming increasingly common in our conversations. Discussions with family members often revolve around news, especially topics related to politics and current events.

Having different opinions is perfectly normal. The problem arises when individuals repeatedly make the same points without considering opposing viewpoints. Additionally, people’s beliefs tend to remain relatively stable; some are inherently opinionated and stick to their views even when presented with contradictory facts. Some individuals are misinformed rather than ignorant, often consuming news media that aligns with their beliefs. As a result, their echo chamber reinforces their existing perspectives.

As a middle child, I often find myself playing the role of mediator. Sometimes, I avoid discussing controversial subjects altogether. Other times, I share my own views, and when others disagree, I emphasize that I respect differing opinions. However, I find it frustrating when others fail to see things from my perspective or consider my viewpoint.

The key concern is how to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner with family, especially when some members may support the MAGA movement—or we believe they do. It’s essential to acknowledge that some individuals enjoy arguing, but we aim to avoid conflicts during dinner and steer clear of topics that could lead to disagreements.

One way to prevent arguments with MAGA supporters might be to avoid inviting them to family gatherings. However, this feels too extreme because we value our connection with family. If we can’t discuss current issues among ourselves, to whom can we turn for peaceful conversations? Siblings should be able to sit down together and discuss controversial topics without resorting to loud and heated exchanges.

With Thanksgiving and Christmas approaching, we’re considering whether to invite the entire family while also trying to avoid verbal conflicts. Should we include all family members and risk a confrontation, or should we exclude those likely to bring up controversial subjects? How do you handle similar situations with your family?

Navigating US-Canada Border Crossings: Personal Insights


February 7, 2025

Trump’s views on birthright citizenship, deportations, and immigration are concerning, bringing back memories of our past border crossings from Canada. As a naturalized Canadian coming from a previously communist country, facing border guards used to make me nervous. But with time, that apprehension has passed.

Over the past few decades, we’ve made an average of four to five trips to the U.S. each year. I am now adept at being polite and cooperative when questioned by border officers. Aside from some amusing incidents, most of our crossings were pleasant.

On one recent trip, an officer checked my passport, grinned, and inquired if I was a “freedom fighter.” My passport shows I was born in Hungary, and I found his question surprising; he was aware of the 1956 Hungarian Revolution. The Revolution started in Budapest, two hundred kilometers from where we lived. The revolution’s westward expansion arrived days later, allowing my escape to Austria when the border was unexpectedly opened. No, I was not a “freedom fighter”, but could have been.

However, his comment made me feel good. He believed I was anti-Russian, which signaled to him that I was a friend of the U.S., so I felt welcomed.

Once, while crossing the border, the officer inquired, “Is this a new car? I then realized that our license plate had been scanned near the gate and entered into their system. Passport checks reveal information about your car’s license plate when you drive.

Canadians also monitor car movements into Canada. The U.S. and Canadian computer systems may work together!

I had a more challenging time driving to Chapel Hill, NC, where my son lived. He had just bought a house, and I offered to build a deck in his backyard. My carpentry tools in the car triggered detailed questioning. The guards accused me of taking jobs from Americans. I reassured them, saying, “No, no. Look at the color of my hair—I am retired! I’m just building a deck for my son.”

Despite my explanations, they remained unsatisfied and told me to park the car and go inside. They searched my vehicle, including the hood, trunk, and undercarriage. Convincing them I wasn’t working in the U.S. took hours.

Another memorable crossing occurred when the border guard requested identification plus my passport. I’m unsure what brought that question up, but I provided my picture IDs: my Canadian driver’s license and health card. I also included my old draft card, which was a mistake! 

“What is this?” they asked. That question seemed unusual; I thought Americans would know what the draft card was. The guards conferred, and I observed from beyond the counter. I explained I had worked in Norfolk, VA, years ago, during the Vietnam War, and that everyone living and working in the U.S. had to register for the draft. Draft cards were something the young officers had never seen before.

The commotion drew the supervisor in, who, upon investigation, burst into laughter. He explained the history of the draft, which was abolished in 1973, to his colleagues. Afterward, they let me go but kept my cherished draft card.

From experience at border crossings, we discovered the standard questions asked by border guards: your destination and planned duration. Plus, declare all items you are bringing across the border: gifts, food, alcohol, and cannabis (while legal in Canada, it is illegal in many states). We carry food only for ourselves and try to remember which fruits are not allowed in the U.S.

The government’s current focus and political relations influence border guards’ behavior. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, vaccinations were required. At other times, they might ask about our destination only and wave us on.

What’s the border guard situation this spring? Trump has expressed a desire to make Canada the fifty-first state of the U.S., but Canada has stated its strong opposition to being absorbed. Would the border guards welcome us, or would they be more questioning?

Trump also accused Canada of allowing huge amounts of fentanyl and large numbers of terrorists to cross into the U.S. The facts, however, paint a different picture; only one percent of fentanyl and terrorists arrive in the US from Canada. Can rhetoric influence the border guards? How do these accusations affect them?

We will assess the current situation at the border soon. In a few weeks, we’ll visit family and enjoy the warm sunshine in North Carolina.

My Rant Today


January 30, 2025

I’m feeling rather irritated right now. The US administration’s illegal actions are shocking. How can they do all of this? They are firing civil servants protected by legislation and freezing programs Congress approved and funded. Surprisingly, I have seen little outrage or opposition in the news yet.

Why does this matter to me? I live in Canada and am not a U.S. citizen, but I have friends and family there and visit them often. The new president’s recent actions require observation; only time will tell if their impact exceeds mere headlines. The administration might revoke some orders. However, given the recent announcements, it is not unrealistic to expect border restrictions or even the requirement for visas to enter the U.S. from Canada. That would be pretty inconvenient.

Two items about the recent batch of activities surprise me. Disgust me is the right expression, and one is bullying. The handling of the Colombian affair is a prime example. When Colombia refused to allow US military planes to land, the US administration announced tariffs on the country, knowing it could devastate its economy. That was, instead of trying to resolve the conflict gentlemanly and diplomatically. The complaint from the President of Colombia was understandable. The US response wasn’t a measured reply but a brutal attack.

The other item is the incredible ignorance shown by the administration. The case in point is the President’s request to Jordan and Egypt to take in Palestinians. It has been policy by both countries not to allow Palestinians to settle in their countries; Jordan already has millions of them, and Egypt fears terrorists. Furthermore, both countries advocate for a Palestinian state, but what becomes of this goal if Palestinians vacate Gaza? As well, the Palestinian people do not want to leave their land. This is common knowledge. So, why would this administration flog an idea that has no currency?

Political events do not form my discussions with friends and family in Canada and the US. I know such subjects lead to significant disagreements, especially those concerning President Trump. He is a convicted felon and a liar whose only interests are to amass power and money. Think of his cryptocurrency coins, selling running shoes, etc.

He talks a good game, but I do not see how his policies benefit his supporters, except business people expecting a tax cut. And that baffles me. Did he con his supporters, close to half of all Americans? An example is the State of Louisiana, which receives over fifty percent of its budget funded by federal sources. The temporary shutdown of all federal programs announced Tuesday would have devastated the heavily Republican state of Louisiana, which relies on federal funding for over half its budget (fortunately, the order was rescinded today).

Trump’s campaign involved outlining his policies, and he’s currently implementing them. Did people vote for him but not believe him? In my experience, the American people are not stupid. I studied and worked there. Recent events, however, have negatively affected my viewpoint on the American people. Republican legislators are eyeing social programs for cuts to free up money for tax breaks for the rich, actions that would have disastrous impacts on the many people who voted for him.

The Surge of Asylum Seekers: Impact on Canadian Society


November 19, 2024

Dueling demonstrations took place yesterday. At the old Nepean City Hall, a small crowd celebrated the proposed construction of a “temporary” welcome center for asylum seekers. Another group protested against the welcome center at its proposed location, the Nepean Sportsplex. Of the one thousand asylum seekers in Ottawa, six hundred find shelter in community centers, like hockey arenas, while others find refuge with volunteer social organizations.

With expectations of a further surge in asylum seekers, the city hired consultants to evaluate the suitability of over a hundred sites for constructing the welcome center. One site in Barrhaven met vociferous opposition, although nobody owned up to NIMBY. The Sportsplex site is a mile from the nearest shopping center and has an infrequent bus service.


I took some time to gain a deeper understanding of the proposal; I discovered that the city plans to erect “Sprung” buildings, a design from the Sprung family company. The company erected over a thousand such buildings globally. I checked out one built on the Embarcadero in San Francisco and found it is an unappealing tent-like building. But it requires simple construction and is economical and fast to erect.

According to city officials, asylum seekers are mostly young single people. The current arrangement is for these people to stay for three months in these welcome centers, receiving help from officials in finding jobs and housing in addition to filling out papers to become residents of Canada.

How did we reach this point with the number of asylum seekers surging during the past couple of years? And would there be more in the future, given President-elect Trump’s intention to deport millions of illegals just south of our border?

Politicians often create and resolve crises to boost their public image. Prime Minister Trudeau has created an immigration crisis in Canada by increasing the inflow of immigration substantially subsequent to the pandemic and is now trying to solve it by reducing the number of arrivals. Naturally, he denies creating a crisis and blames private interests for misusing immigration policies. 

The surge in immigration has triggered a housing shortage, a healthcare problem, and a challenge to the education system. The capacity for housing construction in Canada is no more than 250,000 units per year. Over the past couple of years alone, the rate of a million people a year arriving in Canada would require the entire annual production of housing units, assuming four people per unit. Hospital emergency rooms boast a waiting time of over ten hours; people without family doctors visit emergency rooms for consultations. Teachers have struggled with teaching children who speak dozens of different languages at home and bringing with them their cultures.

Statistics indicate there are eight million “permanent residents’ in Canada, waiting to become citizens (it takes three years of residency to qualify for citizenship). Furthermore, there are three million “temporary residents,” which include foreign students, seasonal workers, and immigrants. Asylum seekers are immigrants, numbering 250,000 across Canada today.

Interestingly, eleven million of the forty-one million Canadians—temporary and permanent residents combined—cannot vote; one must be a citizen to vote. It is also noteworthy that although the federal government created the asylum seekers crisis, local levels of government shoulder the burden of welcoming and assisting newcomers to fit into Canadian society.

A ninety-day stay in a shelter for a young newcomer to Canada can be a cheerful affair, especially during the cold Canadian winters. I assume that clothing and food are also provided. But what is most important for a newcomer to Canada? I suggest speaking English is vital unless the newcomer already knows the language. I speak from my lived experience. As a genuine refugee arriving in Canada, learning English was crucial for navigating life, securing employment, and resuming my education.

Now, language training takes more than ninety days. I’m wondering, what experience do government officials have dealing with the current wave of asylum seekers? Are they turfing out people in ninety days from their shelters now? Or do the newcomers stay longer, and how much longer? This thought takes me back to the original concept of city officials claiming that the proposed welcome center would be temporary.

The stated temporariness of the “Sprung” structures energized many people who doubted the buildings would ever be demolished. When not required any further for asylum seekers, the public imagined these buildings would be repurposed to house the homeless. Couple with the challenge of sheltering asylum seekers, Ottawa is facing a significant rise in its homeless population. It has become quite unpleasant to walk in central parts of the city at night, with homeless people sleeping in doorways and on the streets.

The government’s recent announcement lowering immigration targets will reduce the number of asylum seekers, freeing up welcome centers to house the homeless. The most significant impact of this issue for me was that I noticed a shifting public attitude towards immigrants in the news media, questioning immigration’s worth to Canada. I blame the federal government for this snafu for acting without a proper impact study of what a significant increase in immigration to Canada would entail.

The Coffee Klatch: Why Canadians Compare Themselves to Americans


November 16, 2024

When I sat down for coffee, my friend asked, “Will your children return to Canada?” I understood he was talking about Trump’s presidential victory in the US and its impact on people. Trump’s win caused widespread consternation among my friends.

I said no. Why would my children return when they have good jobs, own their houses, and are growing families in the USA? I said that I do not talk with them much about politics; we talk about their families. Besides, a new government would not make any difference to them, at least in the short term.

His question upset me because it steered our conversation immediately toward US politics. Why are we Canadians so preoccupied with US matters? Yes, the US is our largest trading partner; most of us visit and travel to the US. But don’t we have our own political issues to talk about?

I find scant news about Canada despite watching Canadian TV channels. Two recent provincial elections were hardly covered on the national TV channels. Ontario’s big news recently was that the Premier ordered municipalities to remove bicycle lanes on major roads to ease traffic jams. I agree with him; on some major roads in Ottawa, the bike lanes take up space, making for dangerous driving while watching for cyclists right next to you. And, of course, one cannot park along the curb to visit stores because of the bike lanes. Beyond the bike lanes issue, what comes to my mind is the Premier’s promise to give every Ontarian $200, anticipating an election next spring. These news items produce no excitement in me.

Although local news has had sparse coverage, US news of the election was shown in detail on Canadian national TV channels every night. Canadians have a love-hate relationship with Americans. They like to winter and shop in Florida and Arizona. However, they often express critical views of life there, mentioning rampant crime and an expensive healthcare system compared to Canada.

You’ll be surprised how often you read a thread on Quora (a social network) about universal Canadian healthcare and its superiority to American healthcare. It is also cheaper, according to the threads. Perhaps. However, the subject is more complex; only eight percent of Americans are without health insurance today, and we should also compare the quality of healthcare in the two countries before drawing simplistic conclusions. Two-thirds of Americans with private insurance have better healthcare quality than in Canada; for example, access to a family doctor is much faster than in Canada, and waiting times for hip replacements are shorter.

Also, in Quora threads, many Canadians think Americans are ignorant; I remember the popularity of Rick Mercer’s TV show (This Hour Has 22 Minutes) when he presented fake situations and asked people to respond, for example, when he said the Canadian parliament building is made of ice. Is that Canadian humor? It was a silly statement and demeaning to the people he interviewed. In one episode, he interviewed Mike Huckabee when he was governor of Arkansas, embarrassing him: Huckabee congratulated Canada on having a “National Igloo” in response to Mercer’s prompt. I think American comedians could come to Canada and emulate Mercer’s performance in the US, showing how ignorant Canadians are.

I went to graduate school, worked in the US in the 1960s, and have fond memories of my life there. That was after I lived in Vancouver, Canada, where people, particularly the British people, wanted to learn about your pedigree before befriending you. I found them class-conscious, and the Brits still considered themselves living in the colonies. In contrast, the Americans asked what I could do and what my skills were, not dwelling on my background.

In my experience, Americans work harder and longer hours than Canadians, which may also lead to higher stress levels. I remember when my brother, who traveled a lot, told me that it was always calming to fly into Canada; the atmosphere was just more relaxed at Canadian airports compared to US ones.

The conversation with my friend over coffee made me think of why Canadians spend so much time comparing themselves to the US, and always in a favorable light. I do not have an answer, but I cannot help wondering whether this results from an inferiority complex, justified or not.