Tag: life

Retirement Reflections: Stories and Lessons Learned

September 6, 2025

Standing on our dock by the lake, we engaged in conversation with a woman paddling in a kayak. She introduced herself by sharing that she had just retired at the age of fifty-six after teaching for thirty-two years at the high school level. She expressed that the energy to get up in the morning and face her students was no longer there. Although she didn’t have a specific plan for her retirement yet, she was enjoying exploring the lake by boat and getting involved in her community’s social activities. She hoped she had made the right decision to retire and not work longer.

In contrast, when I had a tooth extracted the next day, the technician said she enjoyed her job and has yet to consider retiring after spending forty-two years in the office.

I compared the experiences of these two people with the retirement of some family members. My cousin secured a job right after graduating from university and spent decades enjoying his work without giving retirement a thought. However, he lost his job at age 76 due to organizational downsizing. He sought similar positions elsewhere but was unable to find one, even with the help of a job hunter. So, he turned to podcasting about making drinks with his dog as an observer and taster, keeping him engaged. Another example was my mathematician brother, who dedicated his life to teaching and writing papers until his passing. He never pursued hobbies; to him, mathematics was his passion.

These examples prompted me to reflect on whether there is an ideal age to retire. I thought of a couple of friends who retired in their early fifties.

One friend started a business after retirement, at age fifty, inspired by his passion for photography. The company closed within a year, likely because the goals he set were difficult to attain. After that experience, he took on a volunteer responsibility of leading the local photo club for several years. Eventually, he and his wife purchased timeshares in the Caribbean and began cruising around the world. His interest in photography, cruising, and staying at timeshares has ebbed recently.

Another friend retired at age fifty-four. During the summer season, he cycled and became the leader of the local bicycling club. During the winter season, he and his wife traveled internationally until they decided to stay in Mexico during the winter to escape the cold Canadian winters. His cycling days are over, but they still go to Mexico for the winter.

Both friends retired thirty-two years ago, which, in one case, is longer than the length of his working life.

Interestingly, both individuals tend to express conservative views on topics such as politics, crime, and the environment. In particular, I am surprised to hear from one that climate change is not real and from the other that environmental studies are a waste of money. Were my friends consistently conservative, or have they become so after a long period of retirement?

It is also noteworthy that both of these friends had employment with one organization from their college graduation to their retirement. And they did not seek out another job after leaving their first and only job in their career. They retired relatively early, possibly because their roles within their workplace no longer provided sufficient challenges, or there may have been incentives for them to leave.

My experience has been different. I moved from working in the public sector to the private sector and then to my own consulting business. I enjoyed all of my jobs, public and private, and continued working until much later in life than many people.

In my last career as a consultant, the work was very exciting and interesting until I acquired some clients whom I found unpleasant to work with. I also started traveling, and other hobbies gradually took priority, making the consulting work less appealing. No question, changing jobs and facing new challenges made work enjoyable and satisfying.

I have always sought something meaningful in my retirement, such as international charity work and writing a memoir, which prompted me to take writing courses to improve my writing skills. The most boring time for me is when I have no projects on the go. Paradoxically, that is also the time for dreaming up new projects.

My conclusion on the subject of retirement is that if you are happy with your work, keep on working.

Avoiding Arguments with Family: Strategies for Difficult Conversations

August 29, 2025

I was quietly reading my book when I heard an escalating argument with both sides raising their voices. Curious about what was happening, I stepped in and discovered it was a family dispute centered around MAGA-related issues. My wife questioned why we have soldiers stationed in Washington, DC, while her brother claimed that crime in DC is a significant problem and that Trump would be the one to fix it. My wife cited reputable sources showing that the crime rate in DC is at its lowest point in thirty years, but her brother dismissed these facts as incorrect. We have all lived in DC, and while crime has been an issue in some parts of the city in the past, the overall rates have improved.

So, where do we go from here? Arguments like this are becoming increasingly common in our conversations. Discussions with family members often revolve around news, especially topics related to politics and current events.

Having different opinions is perfectly normal. The problem arises when individuals repeatedly make the same points without considering opposing viewpoints. Additionally, people’s beliefs tend to remain relatively stable; some are inherently opinionated and stick to their views even when presented with contradictory facts. Some individuals are misinformed rather than ignorant, often consuming news media that aligns with their beliefs. As a result, their echo chamber reinforces their existing perspectives.

As a middle child, I often find myself playing the role of mediator. Sometimes, I avoid discussing controversial subjects altogether. Other times, I share my own views, and when others disagree, I emphasize that I respect differing opinions. However, I find it frustrating when others fail to see things from my perspective or consider my viewpoint.

The key concern is how to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner with family, especially when some members may support the MAGA movement—or we believe they do. It’s essential to acknowledge that some individuals enjoy arguing, but we aim to avoid conflicts during dinner and steer clear of topics that could lead to disagreements.

One way to prevent arguments with MAGA supporters might be to avoid inviting them to family gatherings. However, this feels too extreme because we value our connection with family. If we can’t discuss current issues among ourselves, to whom can we turn for peaceful conversations? Siblings should be able to sit down together and discuss controversial topics without resorting to loud and heated exchanges.

With Thanksgiving and Christmas approaching, we’re considering whether to invite the entire family while also trying to avoid verbal conflicts. Should we include all family members and risk a confrontation, or should we exclude those likely to bring up controversial subjects? How do you handle similar situations with your family?

Notes on Canadian Healthcare

August 23, 2025

While sitting on the porch facing the lake with my laptop open on the table, healthcare unexpectedly came to mind. It was a perfect summer morning, and with a coffee in hand, I thought about how true it is for a healthy life to live with and enjoy nature.

 Canadian healthcare has a good reputation, particularly outside the country. Although it is a universal system, accessibility remains an issue, especially for those without a family doctor. Twenty percent of Ontario families have no family doctor. These individuals end up seeking medical assistance in emergency departments, where there is a shortage of emergency physicians and nursing staff. Because of that, many emergency departments have been forced to close for a day or even a week.

A tragic example highlights this issue: a sixteen-year-old boy arrived at an emergency unit and was triaged as a “second” priority patient. This designation means that a doctor should ideally see him within fifteen minutes. The boy received attention only several hours later. He ultimately passed away due to the delay.

Not in the same horrid category as the above example, I had experience with our healthcare system recently that raised some questions in my mind. I twisted my leg, which made walking quite painful. After a few days with no improvements, I visited my family doctor, who provided requisitions for an X-ray and an ultrasound to determine what was wrong with my knee. However, I expressed my concerns about the long wait times for an ultrasound— the imaging center near us has openings in six months. She heard from other patients about the long wait times and suggested an imaging place on the east end of Ottawa, where one of her patients had the treatment in a month. I wondered if I really had to wait that long to find out what was wrong with my leg before any treatment could begin.

In the meantime, the doctor gave me Voltaren to help alleviate the pain, but it didn’t work for me. As a result, I scheduled an appointment with a physiotherapist, who used needling and massage techniques on the painful area and prescribed some exercises. I noticed significant improvement within just a few days.

I went to the doctor with the expectation that she would diagnose the issue and recommend a treatment plan. Instead, she provided me with requisitions for further investigations. Since the pain has been subsiding with exercise the physiotherapist suggested, I have not followed up with the requisitions. The doctor did not mention physiotherapy as a treatment.

While speaking with my family doctor, I requested a prescription for an EpiPen. I had one previously, but it had expired. She informed me that my records did not indicate a need for an EpiPen, so she was unable to prescribe one. I do not know what policies exist for prescribing EpiPen. I reminded her that I had used an EpiPen for ten years. However, she reviewed my records with this medical group that goes back six years, and there was no documentation of my previous EpiPen use. (We joined this medical group when our previous family doctor retired, and the practitioner we initially started with did not request my medical records although I offered to get it). I also mentioned to her that I had a wasp sting incident after stepping on a wasp nest. Following that, an allergist gave me shots for a few years to build my resistance to wasp stings and prescribed an EpiPan for ten years.

Following my explanation, the doctor gave me a prescription for an EpiPen. Still, this experience made me realize that a lifetime healthcare data system would be highly beneficial. Everyone should have their complete health history in one place.

I have access to my health history that is on multiple data systems. Two of the three hospitals that I visited in Ottawa use a system called “MyChart” that includes all my testing and hospitalization data. The third hospital in Ottawa uses another system called “ConnectedCare” and has my history with this hospital. Then I use a lab for blood work and other tests, and I subscribe to their data system to access their results. And, of course, my family doctor receives data from all of these systems. What is missing is the history from my retired family doctor, when most of the data was handwritten.

But beyond medical results, we use other health-related experts. We visit dentists, optometrists, physiotherapists, personal trainers, and other health care professionals. Wouldn’t it be beneficial to have all of this information together in one system?

Regaining Your Mojo After Tick Illness

July 22, 2025

Have you ever lost your mojo? Your ability to function? Do you enjoy making decisions and following through, but have lost the ability to do so? Have you ever felt in the dumps, with no ambition to do anything? Tired and spent, and the only thing you can do is sit around and maybe have coffee? In other words, you have lost interest in life and feel incapable of accomplishing anything, searching for a sense of purpose.

What would cause such a state? Perhaps you lost your job, were reorganized out of a job, or what they call today, the organization was right-sized! You may have lost your home to one of the out-of-control fires that have been spreading in many states and provinces. I lost my mojo due to a tick, a small bugger no bigger than a poppy seed. They are small, and most of the time, when they find you, you do not feel them. But when they get hold of you, they gorge on you and swell up, and that is when you can see them. If you discover them within twenty-four hours, you should liberate your body from them and go to a pharmacist who will give you a double dose of prophylactic, and that is the end of it. If, however, you never see and feel them, they can create havoc with your body.

I suffered the consequences of one of those nasty critters, ending up in the hospital for four days, trying to get my health back via IVs dripping medicine into my veins and also taking doxycycline for over a week. Yes, I lost my mojo for a few weeks; I was tired all the time, with no ambition to do anything.

When I was well enough to leave the hospital and, in a week, return to the cottage, most bothersome was my paranoia about walking in the tall grass around the cottage, the natural home for ticks, and fearing another one of those tiny monsters crawling on me again. I did not want to go through the hospital routine once more. So, what could I do?

I discovered a jacket in one specialty store that is both mosquito-proof and, more importantly, tick-proof. I had to have one of those. Based on this finding, I searched for other clothing that is tick-proof but could not find any, except for a pair of pants called “bug pants”, in an outdoor store, that are designed to protect against bugs. So, I had to have one of those. To protect my head, I decided to use my wide-brimmed Tilley hat, which I sprayed with an anti-tick chemical. Now I was ready to tackle the outdoors again. Once dressed, I felt as if I were in a hazmat suit. The bug pants and the protective jacket were hot, especially during the heatwaves.

I was still paranoid going to the cottage because that is where I think the tiny and nasty critter attached itself to me, sending me to the hospital. The problem was the tall grass that I had to cut back and trim down. Although I have a corded weed eater, I decided to buy a battery-powered one to reach every corner of the yard, both up front and in the back. There was no question in my mind that I had to clear the entire property of tall grass to make sure ticks would not feel at home there.

In addition to buying protective gear, I learned that I should also pull up my socks over my pants to create a firm closure so no ticks can wander onto my skin. Another tip I learned was to visually inspect myself when entering the cottage to detect any ticks on my clothing that I should remove, and also to check my body for ticks at night while showering. And place all the clothing I wore outside into the dryer to kill any ticks that may be on it.

Whenever I went outside the cottage to cut the grass, dressed up with all the protective gear, I felt nervous. But I knew that I had to overcome this fear and try to regain my mojo, the confidence to take care of the yard as I used to do before. And I am succeeding; the more times I work outside, the more comfortable I feel now.

The Art of Negotiating: Lessons from Hiring Experiences

July 17, 2025

This is just anecdotal and not based on any detailed research. But impressions are essential. The first story started with a knock on my front door. A young man introduced himself and offered to trim my cedar hedge, which is a bit disheveled and can be seen clearly from the street. My hedge needs a trim, so I asked him to provide an estimate. He walked along the hedge and came back to say that his team could do it for $250. Seeing my hesitation, he brought down the price to $200.

That sounded good to me, based on experience with hedge trimming. Before making any decisions, I wanted to learn about his experience and the composition of his team. Six recent college graduates formed a team, he explained, with three of them knocking on doors to generate business, and the other three handling trimming. I thought they had no experience at all. However, he assured me that they possessed all the necessary equipment, including tall ladders and trimming equipment.

Now I am always positive about young people initiating a business, and I told him I’ll think about it and to come back next week. I prefer not to make impulsive decisions. And he did come back a few days later. When I asked him when he could do the trim, he took another walk along the same hedge. He came back, explaining that it is a tall hedge on sloping ground, making it challenging to place the ladders. It is a tall hedge, over twelve feet. So, he concluded that the price would be $600.

I said what? Now, wait a minute, I said. You told me a few days ago that it would be $250. My voice indicated exasperation and disbelief. I even smiled at him, at his chutzpah in more than doubling the price. He suddenly changed his mind and offered to do the job for $300. That offer made me more than upset, and I said that I do not negotiate; you gave me a price, and I expected you to honor it. He decided to walk away.

By the way, I thought his final price was reasonable, but I did not like the way he behaved. What guarantee did I have that his work would be good and the cleanup complete?

Several thoughts crossed my mind. When one starts a new business, one marketing approach is to undercut the current market. One should demonstrate that the new company is superior to existing alternatives in at least one way. Why should anyone pay competitive pricing for a new product or service without testing it?

Next story. A couple of people were trimming the cedar hedge behind my house. I walked to the back of my garden and asked if they would be interested in cutting my cedar hedge as well. If so, I asked them to come over and give me an estimate. They did come over after finishing their job, and a young fellow said that he would message me his estimate later that day. Before leaving, I asked him about his background in landscaping and learned that he was studying to be an arborist. That sounded relevant to the job, and I awaited his estimate.

To my surprise, the estimate came in at $900, significantly above what I thought was fair (by the way, I had asked him to trim more of my cedar hedge than I had asked the young fellow I described above). To my response that he was way out of line, he messaged back that he was a bit high and that he could do it for $700. I responded negatively, to which he answered by asking me what I thought was a fair price so that he could learn from it. I give him high marks for sincerity, but why didn’t he work for a hedge trimming company and learn the pricing in the trade before starting his own business?

Now, these two stories do not provide a definitive characterization of today’s young people, millennials, to be sure. But I found it surprising that both started with a high estimate. Why did they not start with a low estimate (the first one did, but when it came to doing the job, he doubled the price)? Or, why did they not ask me what I would pay for the task? That would not be a bad approach; I think most people would come up with a reasonable estimate. When you start working, do you not need to obtain some contracts and build up experience that you can use as a form of advertising?

The new services introduced by the international telecom company I worked for were offered at less than half the price of those offered by our competitors. The purpose was to have our services used and tested by customers, demonstrating the superior quality and features of our services in comparison to the competition. The point is that the seller, a new entrant to an existing market, has to demonstrate the value of their services before prices can be raised.

I was frankly disappointed in the two young fellows trying their hands at establishing a new business without doing some background work, especially in asking for prices way above market rates.